Tornado Alley - 2000
On Memorial Day Weekend DaMom (at the time she was DaWife) and I went to Pennsylvania for a camping trip with a bunch of our friends from college. We had been in the working world for a couple of years and this was the first time we had all gotten together since college. The State Park we were camping at supposedly had a great reputation for quality mountain biking trails which was why we were there.
On Saturday only 3 of the 7 of us decided to go out in search of trails. Apparently I intimidated the others (I don't get it). We stopped by the ranger station first to get a map and ask what were best novice trails (D. and J.W. were afraid I'd leave them in the dust. Again what's with the intimidation). The Ranger pointed us in the direction of the trails on the southern side of the mountain where there were ample service roads to get back out of the woods if needed (or desired). The only indication to the trail conditions was a passing mention of "there are some trees down". Being from New England and understanding that every winter knocks trees down and it take a while to clear them in the woods, it never occurred to me that it would mean more than climbing over a couple of logs with bikes. Not a big deal.
We left the ranger station feeling prepared and ready for a good day of riding. J.W. and I had our Camelbaks on loaded up with gear, food and water. I had my full suspension bike (FSB) and D. had my old FSB both tipping the scales around 30lbs each and J.W. had a lighter hardtail.
We started down a nice twisting, fast, fire road that stopped at a downed tree. We hike over the mammoth timber and continue down some single track for ways. We come to a section of downed trees, climb over them and continue on. Then we come to more downed trees and wondering what the heck is going on. The trees looked as if loggers had come through dropping trees for a new road and never cleaned up the mess. All of the trees had no vegetation and were gray, so I knew this devastation wasn't recent but couldn't understand what happened.
In my life I've seen a lot of local woods be clear cut for the construction of mini-malls, McMansions, and to circumvent a conservation commission ruling that wouldn't allow more than X number of acres to be cleared at one time (he got the ~25 acres clearcut the week before the ruling went into effect and now 20+ years later that parcel still sits vacant). So I naturally thought some bonehead developer started dropping trees and was halted by something; cash flow, the court, or public outcry.
We lost any and all signs of a trail and start hiking the edges of the downed tree line trying to find one. After two horrendous hours of hiking with bikes, we finally found a fire road that is in service. We then start the process of figuring out "where the hell are we" and ride a couple of miles back to the ranger station.
We're all PO'd and want to know why so many trees are down. We walk into the ranger station and ask the same green shirted knucklehead what happened to the forest. His response was one for the record books; "What? Trees down?.............. OH YEAH! We had a tornado come through here last year......... Sorry 'bout that."
Gee thanks!
g
Friday, March 27, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
"honey, come pick me up"...
...she said into the phone....
The following incident took place on:
Wednesday March 25th, 2009.
6:30pm - DaMom leaves for quilting class.
8:50pm - The following phone transcript occurred;
ring
DaGoof - Hello?
DaMom - Hi you need to call my parents have them come over watch the kids and come pick me up.
DG - What happened? (I'm thinking the car died or she was in a wreck)
DM - I cut my finger.
DG - Uh, OK (thinking...you cut your finger and can't drive home? I cut my fingers with a table saw and drove myself to the ER and you...)
DM - The Paramedics are on their way and we'll see what they have to say.
DG - Uh, OK, I'll get a hold of your mother.
9:50pm - I arrive at the hospital and discover that she was on her third set of bandages and still bleeding through the bandage.
10:15 She's wheeled to the "Fast Track" section of the ER and get's cleaned up and re-bandaged by a doctor.
10:30 - She gets X-rays done.
11:00 - We're on our way out of the door.
11:30 - Home.
That's the fastest ER trip ever!!!
Trust me I know...(but that's for another post)
What happened? A rotary cutter slipped and nipped the side of the tip of her left index finger while cutting strips for her quilt.
The next few days ought to be a hoot!
g
The following incident took place on:
Wednesday March 25th, 2009.
6:30pm - DaMom leaves for quilting class.
8:50pm - The following phone transcript occurred;
ring
DaGoof - Hello?
DaMom - Hi you need to call my parents have them come over watch the kids and come pick me up.
DG - What happened? (I'm thinking the car died or she was in a wreck)
DM - I cut my finger.
DG - Uh, OK (thinking...you cut your finger and can't drive home? I cut my fingers with a table saw and drove myself to the ER and you...)
DM - The Paramedics are on their way and we'll see what they have to say.
DG - Uh, OK, I'll get a hold of your mother.
9:50pm - I arrive at the hospital and discover that she was on her third set of bandages and still bleeding through the bandage.
10:15 She's wheeled to the "Fast Track" section of the ER and get's cleaned up and re-bandaged by a doctor.
10:30 - She gets X-rays done.
11:00 - We're on our way out of the door.
11:30 - Home.
That's the fastest ER trip ever!!!
Trust me I know...(but that's for another post)
What happened? A rotary cutter slipped and nipped the side of the tip of her left index finger while cutting strips for her quilt.
The next few days ought to be a hoot!g
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
my fase iz nub
What was I thinking?
Mr. Weatherman told me it was going to be cold and windy this morning but why would I believe him?
When I got to work the weather station on the roof said 27°F with wind gusts as high as 12mph.
That's a crock o' bull.
The 10 foot flag next door is straight out.
I think I can feel my face again.
g
Mr. Weatherman told me it was going to be cold and windy this morning but why would I believe him?
When I got to work the weather station on the roof said 27°F with wind gusts as high as 12mph.
That's a crock o' bull.
The 10 foot flag next door is straight out.
I think I can feel my face again.
g
Monday, March 23, 2009
My Best Bike Stories - Part 2 - The Nectar Debacle
I've wrecked a lot. My friends wrecked a lot. Whether it was youthful indiscretion or the lack of fear, we found ourselves on the wrong side of the pedals countless times. We did a lot of fun and stupid things on bikes. In this mini-series I will try to describe our most notable adventures, they aren't all fairy tales but they're not all gruesome either, some are even hilarious.
The Nectar Debacle ~1988-1990
As youths we were addicted to sugar. It didn't matter what it was but if it had high fructose corn syrup in it we were all over it. After school we'd stop at our local market, pick up our junk food and speed off to a place to scarf it down.
On this particular day there were three of us heading over to a another friends house. I was on my 12 speed road bike (and obviously in the road) with J and Jo on their mountain bikes in the sidewalk. (Yeah yeah yeah they shouldn't have been on the sidewalk in the first place but then there would be no story). We were in the old section of town and by old I'm mean most houses were built between 1700 and 1900. There were large trees and large hedge rows dividing the front yards and the sidewalk. The sidewalk was concrete, narrow and very bumpy.
So there we were, buzzing down this well traveled street with our sugar loot and screwing around as per usual. J and I were side by side (he on the sidewalk, me on the street, remember?) and Jo lagging behind on the sidewalk. J had bought a 2 liter of cola ("nectar of the gods" as my wife calls it) and was carrying it on his left arm like a football. His right arm was on the handlebar.
Next thing I hear is "OH SH......." I look to my right and J is gone. I look over my right shoulder and he's still no where to be found. I jack up on the brakes and turn around to see Jo doubled over on his bike. I ride up to hear Jo laughing uncontrollably and pointing towards the hedge row.
At first I'm taken aback by what I saw but then had to laugh once I processed the image in my head. There was J stuck in the hedge still on the bike just like he was riding it but his rear wheel was a foot or so off the ground. He was still clutching the soda bottle like a running back. "I saved it" he said glancing down toward the bottle. The image of him stuck in the hedges matched the last image I had of him riding down the street perfectly only with the rear wheel off the ground and him being stationary.
Then he said "help".
Naturally I took the bottle from him and threatened to leave him there. Eventually I did help him out and pull the needles off of him but we sure weren't going to let that one go for a while (20 years later and I'm still writing about it!).
Apparently he had veered into rock at the end of a driveway and was launched into the hedge. He and the bike were unharmed except for the blow to the ego and we continued on our way.
g
The Nectar Debacle ~1988-1990
As youths we were addicted to sugar. It didn't matter what it was but if it had high fructose corn syrup in it we were all over it. After school we'd stop at our local market, pick up our junk food and speed off to a place to scarf it down.
On this particular day there were three of us heading over to a another friends house. I was on my 12 speed road bike (and obviously in the road) with J and Jo on their mountain bikes in the sidewalk. (Yeah yeah yeah they shouldn't have been on the sidewalk in the first place but then there would be no story). We were in the old section of town and by old I'm mean most houses were built between 1700 and 1900. There were large trees and large hedge rows dividing the front yards and the sidewalk. The sidewalk was concrete, narrow and very bumpy.
So there we were, buzzing down this well traveled street with our sugar loot and screwing around as per usual. J and I were side by side (he on the sidewalk, me on the street, remember?) and Jo lagging behind on the sidewalk. J had bought a 2 liter of cola ("nectar of the gods" as my wife calls it) and was carrying it on his left arm like a football. His right arm was on the handlebar.
Next thing I hear is "OH SH......." I look to my right and J is gone. I look over my right shoulder and he's still no where to be found. I jack up on the brakes and turn around to see Jo doubled over on his bike. I ride up to hear Jo laughing uncontrollably and pointing towards the hedge row.
At first I'm taken aback by what I saw but then had to laugh once I processed the image in my head. There was J stuck in the hedge still on the bike just like he was riding it but his rear wheel was a foot or so off the ground. He was still clutching the soda bottle like a running back. "I saved it" he said glancing down toward the bottle. The image of him stuck in the hedges matched the last image I had of him riding down the street perfectly only with the rear wheel off the ground and him being stationary.
Then he said "help".
Naturally I took the bottle from him and threatened to leave him there. Eventually I did help him out and pull the needles off of him but we sure weren't going to let that one go for a while (20 years later and I'm still writing about it!).
Apparently he had veered into rock at the end of a driveway and was launched into the hedge. He and the bike were unharmed except for the blow to the ego and we continued on our way.
g
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Old Ironsides
I had a revelation the other day while staring at my bike on the front of the bus:
Old Ironsides, my trusty steed of a commuter bike, is old.
Which is strange. Old in a disposable society is not the norm. It is certainly not the norm in biking circles around here as every Lycra clad rider is on the latest carbon fiber speed machine. By contrast the college students seem to buy the $50 specials and dump them at the end of the semester. So yeah, they ride old bikes but they don't keep them.
It's not bad that it's old and there are certainly older bikes still in regular service, but I've been the owner of this bike for all of it's years. I don't think of myself as being old enough to posses a bike with such a claim. Having beaten it into submission numerous times and it still gets me around with little complaint:
I've changed it's attitude with the addition of fenders, rack, and lights.
All hail the Giant!!! Hip Hip Hooray!!!
g
Old Ironsides, my trusty steed of a commuter bike, is old.
Which is strange. Old in a disposable society is not the norm. It is certainly not the norm in biking circles around here as every Lycra clad rider is on the latest carbon fiber speed machine. By contrast the college students seem to buy the $50 specials and dump them at the end of the semester. So yeah, they ride old bikes but they don't keep them.
It's not bad that it's old and there are certainly older bikes still in regular service, but I've been the owner of this bike for all of it's years. I don't think of myself as being old enough to posses a bike with such a claim. Having beaten it into submission numerous times and it still gets me around with little complaint:
- I've ridden it down ski slopes and staircases.
- I've thrashed it down bad city streets and hard into curbs.
- I've performed countless balancing tricks on it.
- I've crashed more times than I care to count on it.
- I wooed my then future girlfriend (now wife) on it.
- I cruised the local beaches in my youth regularly on it.
- It is older than the two interns we have at work.
- It is old enough to vote.
- The first Gulf War was about to start when I got it.
I've changed it's attitude with the addition of fenders, rack, and lights.
All hail the Giant!!! Hip Hip Hooray!!!
g
Friday, March 20, 2009
Oh New England
March 25, 1998.
The date I picked up my brandy new Exploder from the dealership.
March 20, 2009.
The date I tapped the rocker panel with my foot and most of it flaked to the ground.
It looks even worse underneath
Last year I had to take the running boards off because they were starting to wobble. That's when I first saw the cancer. I figured I could stretch a few more years out of it but the inevitable is approaching rapidly. My truck is dying.
So now I'd like to offer my special thanks to:
And after 5 years of owning it, guess who's finally coming out for summer chores?
g
The date I picked up my brandy new Exploder from the dealership.
March 20, 2009.
The date I tapped the rocker panel with my foot and most of it flaked to the ground.
It looks even worse underneathSo now I'd like to offer my special thanks to:
- The plastic covers that both caused and hid the rust (it has gotten so far out of hand it can't be fixed).
- The New England states and towns that find it necessary to dump caustic, rust inducing chemicals on the road at the slightest sign of ice because people are to stupid to slow down in inclement weather.
- Stupid people who insist aforementioned product be spread on the ground so they may continue speeding.
And after 5 years of owning it, guess who's finally coming out for summer chores?
g
How Do You Know When...
...Someone spends too much time with Kids?
When they are absolutely giddy to receive a Jury Duty summons!!!
DaMom keeps reading and re-reading the literature they sent and is more excited than I've seen her in a while about an out of house activity.
Of course the last time she had Jury duty, she sat in on a horse thieving case. She gets the good ones!
g
When they are absolutely giddy to receive a Jury Duty summons!!!
DaMom keeps reading and re-reading the literature they sent and is more excited than I've seen her in a while about an out of house activity.
Of course the last time she had Jury duty, she sat in on a horse thieving case. She gets the good ones!
g
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